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Closer… Closer… Closer… Meaningful relationships—romantic, platonic or other— can have a profound impact on your physical health The fairy tale idea that boy meets girl, they get married and live happily ever after is largely considered a fictional relic. But new research from across the country suggests that despite the fantasy quality of the tale, it might not be so far from the truth. No scientist, of course, is suggesting that living happily ever after is automatic once you have that marriage license in hand. Marriage is not a one-time vaccination again illness. Nothing’s that easy. But what they are saying is that those who are in intimate relationships are likely to live happier — and therefore healthier — lives than those who live a more solitary existence. A study released earlier this year by sociologists at the University of Virginia in Charlottesville found that women were happier in their marriages when their partners were emotionally engaged in the relationship. Unlike many other studies that have focused on work/life balance and the way in which that impacts women’s happiness, the Virginia study found that women cared more about how affectionate and understanding their husbands are, and how much quality time they spend with their husbands. Research from Cornell University in Ithaca, N.Y. from 2005 supports the idea that those in strong, committed relationships are among those who report being happiest. Even those in casual relationships report being happier than those not in a romantic relationship. A Cure for the Common Cold? The trick for researchers and physicians of course, is that being happy is subjective and self-reported, and physical illnesses are not. But the mind-body connection is strong, and physicians and researchers report that those patients who claim to be happy tend to have fewer physical health problems and illnesses than those who are unhappy. The happy relationship factor impacts everything from the relatively minor irritable bowel syndrome and back pain to the significant, like heart disease and recovery from surgery. And, of course, most dermatologists will tell you that getting regular skin cancer screenings are more important for those who aren’t in relationships, because they can’t see their own backs and can’t see warning signs of skin cancer. Laura Beaty, M.D., an Atlanta physician, cites another study in which volunteers were given nasal drops with viruses that cause the common cold, and just 40 percent contracted the annoying affliction. In addition to exercise and diet, strong relationships seemed to have been a factor in prevention (no word on whether or not those were strong relationships with mothers making chicken soup). Even those who contracted the colds reported fewer symptoms if they also reported having a strong social network. A study conducted at Duke University found 50 percent of uncoupled patients with heart disease passed away within five years their evaluation with the researchers. Just 18 percent of those who were part of a couple or had a strong network of friends, had passed away during the same time. Steven E. Hodes, M.D., a New York City gastroenterologist, says he questions his “patients carefully regarding their psychosocial state of being and find a consistent correlation with their physical symptoms. Emotional distress, unhappiness, lack of a love interest or conflict within personal relationships are easily manifested by gastrointestinal symptoms.” Researchers still aren’t sure of how this connection takes place. Some of these changes are psychosomatic, says Debbie Mandel, a stress-management specialist and the author of “Turn On Your Inner Light: Fitness for the Mind Body and Soul” (Busy Bee Group, 2003). And that’s why the research applies to both romantic and platonic relationships, and therefore single people can benefit from intimate relationships as well as those who are married. “Perception is everything. Studies show that having realistic optimism and a support system are necessary ingredients. If that support system consists of girlfriends while you enjoy the freedom of independence and are passionate about your work, well that will keep you healthy. The bottom line is healthy people take care of themselves (exercise, eating right and generating self-confidence). Whatever motivates you: children, work or even seeking a relationship, will keep you healthy,” she says. Some, including researchers at the UCLA School of Medicine, believe that stress hormones are to blame. People who are lonely report sleeping less than those in healthy relationships, and there is a host of research that shows a link between lack of sleep and increased stress hormones and decreased immune function. So, what’s the best medicine for long-term health? Instead of two aspirin, engage with your friends, children and partner, get a good night’s sleep and you may not need to call the doctor in the morning. © CTW Features SideBar It takes two Intimacy isn’t easy. But if there is anything the research suggests is that the benefits of successful intimate relationships make working on them worth your while. Here are five doable tips for moving your relationships higher on the intimacy scale. 1. Commit to it. Just as the first step in overcoming an addiction is admitting you have a problem, the first step to building stronger relationships is making a promise to do so. Whether it is a friendship, a romantic relationship or a stronger bond with your kids, write your intentions a journal, or just say them aloud. 2. Plan for it. Build one-on-one time into your schedule. Whether it is making date night with your spouse, bridge night with the girls or an afternoon with your daughter, these kinds of events becomes rituals and lay the foundation for more meaningful conversations. 3. Practice what you preach. Too many people get caught up in the day-to-day hassles and forget to tell loved ones how important they are. Saying, “I love you,” on your way out of the door or in a note in the briefcase helps reinforce what’s important. Hug your kid before he runs to catch the school bus, no matter how late you’re running. 4. Be selfish. You can’t give — either your time or attention — to someone else if you’re tired to the bone. Schedule periods to do something for yourself, whether it is a trip to the gym or the chance to read the paper and do a Sudoku puzzle in quiet. 5. Sweat the small stuff. Relationships don’t deepen over night. They build based on everyday activities: having family dinner together, talking in the car on the way to soccer practice. Don’t wait until you have time: There’s no time like the present. |
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