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For Success in Marriage, Let it Go Painting an accurate picture of a relationship keeps newlyweds eternally blissful. 
Newlyweds can increase their chances for success if they adjust their expectations early on, says psychology professor James McNulty at Ohio State University. “Satisfaction goes down when a spouse’s expectations don’t fit with reality,” McNulty says. “Sure it may make you happy in the short-run to think your spouse is better than he or she really is, but if the reality doesn’t match the image, eventually your satisfaction is going to decline.” A study of 82 couples in their first few months of marriage shows that partners were less likely to experience marital blues if they had an accurate picture of their relationship, even if it wasn’t an ideal one. Seventeen of those couples were divorced by the end of the four-year study. Those who had high expectations for happiness at the beginning of their marriage but poor relationship skills, showed steep declines in satisfaction over the first four years of marriage. It’s like a student who has doesn’t have the skills to get “A” grades but expects them anyway, McNulty explains. It would be better if that student worked hard enough to get “Bs” and “Cs.” In the same way, couples who don’t have good relationship skills have to be realistic about their marriage. That doesn’t mean they give up, they just need to try harder to improve their relationship skills and know to expect some bumps in the road. |
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