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Eat As I Eat Why parents should be a child's healthy-eating role models 
Childhood obesity has more than tripled in the past 30 years, now weighing in at 19.6 percent of children aged 6 to 11 years, as compared to 6.5 percent in 1980, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Sure, it’s easy to blame lackluster school lunches or fat-and-sugar-clogged fast food chains, but when it comes right down to it, maybe it’s time mom and dad put down the chips, got up off the couch and took a long, hard look in the mirror. “The parent is a child’s primary role model,” says Lawrence Balter, a New York City-based psychoanalyst and parent educator. “They notice everything you do, including the things you would rather they overlook.” In fact, children are far more likely to do as you do, not as you say, Balter says. For example, you might tell your children that it’s important to eat three meals a day, but if they see you skipping breakfast or obsessing about calories, the message they’ll take in is that eating is “bad” and the thinner you are, the better. On the other hand, if you instruct them to eat their veggies while you help yourself to a third serving of fried chicken, they might begin to see healthy food as a punishment. However, if you build a healthy routine for your children and follow a similar one yourself, they will begin to take the beneficial behavior for granted, Balter says. “Instead of making it seem extraordinary to eat right or exercise, it should be habitual, just like bedtime.” Motivate your children to start eating better by having them help you find healthy recipes in cookbooks or online, and then prepare them together. And get kids moving by shooting hoops or taking surfing lessons together, going for a family hike or bike ride, dancing for an hour instead of watching television and always opting to take the stairs instead of the elevator – according to a recent study by the University at Albany (SUNY), girls whose parents were active logged an additional 13 minutes of daily exercise compared to peers with less active parents. But also keep in mind that being a good role model for your children is about more than achieving an appropriate BMI. Emotional health is equally, if not more important, especially when it comes to maintaining good relationships and preventing depression, anxiety and stress. By being honest about your own feelings, you promote the same behavior in your child. “Don’t tell a child you are happy when you’re sad,” Balter says. “Children need to know that it’s safe to experience a full assortment of feelings, not just the so-called positive ones.” This means allowing them to experience anger, jealousy, fear and other unpleasant emotions, even if it makes you feel uncomfortable. Of course, it is also important that you demonstrate how to express any of these negative emotions in a productive manner. But that isn’t always easy, particularly when the reason for your frustration is, in fact, your child. “Raising kids is more emotional than intellectual,” says Michael Riera, head of school at Redwood Day School, Oakland, Calif., and author of “Staying Connected To Your Teenager” (Da Capo Press, 2003). “We can’t always be our best selves.” But even if you blow up at your child for breaking something or getting a bad grade, it’s possible to turn it into a positive lesson. Start by apologizing for raising your voice, Riera says, and then suggest that the two of you talk through the issue and really listen to what your child has to say. “That’s powerful, because it lets your child know that you respect their feelings, and teaches them that calm communication both feels better and accomplishes more than just screaming at each other.” Your child will also be more willing to cop to their mistakes and actively try to make them right if they have seen you have a similar response to your own blunders in the past. The goal is not to be confessional about your bad behavior, but honest and instructive. “We’ve all known all along that Tiger Woods wasn’t perfect,” Riera says. “Now we just know what some of his imperfections are. But unlike with Woods, your kids have a front row seat for how you face your struggles and try to do better on a day to day basis.” Modeling healthy mind and body habits now will give your children a better chance of living long, happy and well-rounded lives when they head out into the world on their own. It’s your very own version of “Think global, act local.” |
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