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Take My Advice, Please! Parents, siblings, friends, co-workers and even strangers are quick to impart their wisdom. Here’s how to rebuke their well-meaning words 
The four simple, well-meaning words – if I were you – seem to preface most unsolicited advice from friends, parents, neighbors and even strangers. When that advice isn’t something the listener wants or needs to hear, it’s easy to grow resentful. Those looking to hold their ground need to keep their tempers idle says Ryan Browning, a certified life coach, and Dr. Jessica Gendelman, a clinical psychologist, co-founders of Relationship Gateway, an online forum for dating and relationship information. They say that when you bring up your problems to those around you, all bets are off. Here’s how to handle a few key situations in stride. If I were you … I would break up with him Unloading relationship dilemmas on a friend will undoubtedly greet you with the advice, “Well, if I were you, I would dump him immediately, if not sooner.” Browning cautions against blowing off steam to a friend that is unaware of the complexities of your relationship. Often times that person will rush to judgment based upon the few negative facts you convey. Also, that person might not be successful in his or her love life, and offer counsel that has more to do with their experiences. “You can say to your friend ‘I appreciate your perspective on my relationship, and I’ll take your suggestions into consideration, but staying with John right now feels like the right choice for me.’” If I were you … I would get married Aunt Martha, like clockwork, offers up the same advice to you every time you see her. “You are 36 and single. If I were you, I would really try to go on more dates.” And there you are, for the umpteenth time, listening to dating advice from someone who hasn’t been on a date in decades. Browning suggests deflecting the well-meaning types with: “I appreciate your concern, but I’m really happy, and I’m actually going out on dates.” If you aren’t dating, or don’t want to date, hold the line on your comfort with being single. If I were you … I wouldn’t let my kid throw a tantrum like that In the middle of a child’s wailing, another shopper walks by and rudely dispenses her parenting advice. With a screaming child and frayed nerves, even the most mild-mannered parent would be tempted to get angry. Even though it’s difficult, Browning says swallow your pride and thank the person for weighing in. “I would advise against getting into a moral debate about how the person communicated the information. All you have to say is, ‘I appreciate what you have to say, thank you very much.’ In general, with anyone giving advice, you just want to try and be respectful, while maintaining your individuality,” Browning says. Don’t be afraid to tell the person that you have it under control, but also don’t be tempted to excuse a child’s erratic behavior: this comes of as making excuses. Show that you have control over the situation by exhibiting self-control in the face of unwanted advice, and take your child outside, if needed.
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